Saturday, April 9, 2016

Truly Random Today

My goal for 2016 is to lose 10 pounds.  Only 15 to go.
 
 Ate salad for dinner!  Mostly croutons & tomatoes.  Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce.  And cheese.   FINE, it was a pizza.  I ate a pizza.
 
 How to prepare Tofu:
1.  Throw it in the trash.
2.  Grill some Meat.
 
 I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
 
 I don't mean to brag but......I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
 
 A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
 
 Kids today don't know how easy they have it.  When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
 
 Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
 
 Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?   Me neither.
 
 I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented…. I forgot where I was going with this.
 
 I love being over 70.   I learn something new every day……. and forget 5 others.
 
 A thief broke into my house last night......He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
 
My dentist told me I need a crown.  I was like:  I KNOW, right?
 
 I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
 
 PS:  Sunday, March 13, 2016, began Daylight Savings Time.  Don't forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds.

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